This is why I LOVE StumbleUpon.
Dad: “Talk to me; tell me about your problems.”
Me: “[laundry list of problems]”
Dad: “Fuck all that, don’t worry about it. You know there was a tornado nearby last night? All my plants got blown over.”
Me: FML
Just got my 2010 W-2 and couldn’t be more depressed. I haven’t even read any of it besides the one box that shows how much I earned last year. It’s fucking pathetic. Inexcusable. Unlike many in this country who cling to their entitlement complex like a child’s blankie, I know there’s no one else to blame but me. Every decision I’ve made has lead to this exact moment. I need to start holding myself to a higher standard. I have a 131 IQ, which means I should be an engineer or someone who installs fake tits. Instead, I’ve been too lazy and too comfortable, wasting away in a fluorescent-lit cube farm surrounded by drooling retards and doing a job that could easily be eliminated if the people who run this place knew anything about efficiency. It all has to change, and it starts now. Maybe it’s silly but as I hold this W-2 in my hand, it feels like the most important document I will ever touch.
Anyway, back to tweeting fart jokes…
